May 11, 2008
The Speech You Will Never Hear ©
Vol. 3 Issue 10
The oath to be taken by the President
upon first entering the highest office in
the land is specified in
Article II, Section 1, of the Constitution:
"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will
faithfully execute the
office of President of the United States,
and will to the best of my ability,
preserve, protect, and defend
the Constitution of the United States." Many
Presidents have added the words, "So help
me, God."
Once the Chief Justice of the Supreme
Court administers the oath, the new
President addresses the
nation from the steps of the Capital. Most
presidents want their addresses to be
extraordinary. Once the
election is over in November, their speech
writers have about ten weeks to prepare the
words that will
reverberate across the nation with memorable
prose. If I had the opportunity to write the
address for the
next president, here is what I would say:
My fellow Americans, as I stand before
you ready to assume the constitutional
duties you have so dearly
entrusted with me, I want to begin by
telling you that as soon as this ceremony is
complete and I arrive at
the Oval Office, I will be issuing the
following executive orders. Because the
Senate as of now has not
confirmed my cabinet appointees, I will be
acting on their behalf and would expect that
these orders will
be followed to the letter:
First, I am ordering the department of
Homeland Security to seal all the borders of
the United States. No
one in and no one out without the proper
visa or permission from the Department of
State. In addition, I
am ordering the Immigration Custom
Enforcement (ICE) division of the Department
of Homeland Security
to immediately round up those persons who
have entered this country illegally, who
cannot prove that
they are employed and have been in the U.S.
for at least seven years, to be deported
immediately.
Presidents Hoover and Eisenhower did it when
they were in office, and we can do it now.
The illegal
immigrants who are overcrowding our nation's
prisons will be released and returned to
their country of
origin. In line with that, I will be issuing
an order to the Treasury Department to
immediately withhold all
funds that are due and payable to "Sanctuary
Cities." Upon proof that these cities are
cooperating with
ICE, the payments will be restored.
Second, I am ordering the Department of
Energy to immediately open up the ANWR oil
fields and build
offshore drilling platforms in the Gulf
Coast off the shores of Florida. We will
begin removing from the
ground and undersea what rightfully belongs
to the American people, our oil. In line
with that, I am
ordering the immediate construction of three
refineries. As soon as that is started, I am
confident the
price of gasoline at the pumps will come
down to $1.50 within one-year. We will not
sell any oil to any
nation until all our needs are obtained
first.
I am instituting ten-cents per gallon
tax, no more, no less, to be deposited into
the Social Security Fund.
The fund will now revert back to the pre
1964 principle that it will remain an
untouchable trust fund and
used for its originally established purpose,
Social Security and Medicare and nothing
else.
I am also ordering the immediate
construction of 20 nuclear power plants to
reduce our cost of energy
and maintain a cleaner environment. In our
perennially sunlit states on both sides of
the country, local
utility companies will build and maintain
solar panel facilities to furnish
electricity to run all necessary
infrastructure equipment. This will include
street lights, traffic lights and government
properties such as
municipal buildings and public schools. In
New England, we will erect Wind Thermal
Generators outside
the shipping lanes off Martha's Vineyard to
also run the states infrastructure. [Sorry
Ted]
Third, terrorism is a worldwide problem.
Nowhere on the face of the earth has it
awakened a nation and
emboldened anyone more than Americans over
the past eight years. I am ordering the CIA
to reinstitute
"Water Boarding" where they deem it
necessary to protect the citizens of this
great nation. We still bob
for apples do we not?
Fourth, I am ordering the new Congress to
cease all financial bailouts of corporate
America. The
corporations got themselves into their
messes they will get themselves out. The
same rules will apply to
the sub-prime borrowers. How stupid do you
borrowers want us to believe you are? No one
forced you
to sign those mortgages, stop crying and
grow up. Americans will start to take
responsibility for their
own actions. "Ask not what your country can
do for you; ask what you can do for your
country."
Fifth, the department of Health,
Education, and Welfare will see to it that
the word "Tenure" is removed
from academia. The only people in America
who have tenure are Federal and Supreme
Court Judges and
teachers. We can remove doctors' licenses
for malpractice, disbar attorneys who bring
shame to the
legal profession and jail corporate
executives who commit fraud. However, the
teachers who may have
been responsible for teaching them their
evil ways are exempt from removal.
Students in high schools will be required
to work summer internships. They will begin
to learn for the first
time in their lives how geometry relates to
building a roof for a house or designing a
landscaping project.
That is why Asian students are better
educated than American high school
graduates. We must bring
back that competitive edge.
More importantly, "Political Correctness"
will be removed from our schools. If you
excel, you will receive
a pat on the back. Equality is socialism. It
does not belong in America. Natural law of
cause and effect
that effort determines the results will be
taught again. Honor rolls will be
reinstated.
Foreign exchange students who study in
the U.S. are not allowed to work in the U.S.
If they return to their
home countries and use what they learned to
build up their nations, they may later come
back, if they
want to, and become productive in America.
The savings in wasted foreign aid will be
enormous. Third-
world nations must learn to stand on their
own two feet. We will help them during a
natural disaster, but
not with free handouts.
Sixth, private university endowments will
be taxed. Harvard University's endowment
alone is valued at
$34.9 billion. Historically earning 23% a
year, the interest alone is enough to
purchase health insurance
for 800,000 families. Yale has $17 billion
and Columbia almost $25 billion. I am
ordering the Internal
Revenue Service to examine and audit all the
private university endowments immediately.
Seventh, the words "entitlements" and
"earmarks" and actions relating to them,
will be removed from
every congressional agenda. The only
entitlement you deserve, if you are healthy
and living in this great
nation, is to have the right and ability to
[lawfully] do and be anything you want to
be. Earmarks should
be the impressions you leave on your pillows
at night.
Eighth and lastly, the words "Under God"
will be rewritten onto every item they have
been removed from,
never to be removed again. The Ten
Commandments will be placed in front of any
courthouse in America
that wants to erect them. They are still
inscribed over the entrance to the U.S.
Supreme Court. They
belong there. These Ten Commandments are the
foundation of all laws in America and the
free world.
My fellow Americans, you probably have
noticed that I did not mention the economy.
I did not have to. If
everything I just told you falls into place,
we will not have to worry about the economy;
it will fix itself. I
also did not mention taxes under my plan.
When the economy corrects itself, we should
be able to
reduce them even more.
In conclusion, before I retire to the
Oval Office to implement my programs, if you
disagree with my
mandates, you are free to peacefully dissent
or even stand in line with the illegal
aliens who are being
deported. The Constitution gives you that
right. I am sure we can find room on the bus
for you.
You asked for change, and here it is.
God Bless America.
Authors note: If any of the current
candidates want to be in the position to
give this speech on January
20, 2009, they had better start speaking
about these ideas now and they had better
mean what they say.
Americans are getting wiser every day.
And, that is my opinion.
Michael Solomon
If you want to
help restore sanity to America, join the
Flag Day campaign.
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