October 23, 2007
Stupid Is As
Stupid Does.
Vol. 2 Issue16
That line recited by Forest Gump, (Tom
Hanks) in the movie by the same name, has
made me ponder how applicable it is to what
many of us have considered laws that are
stupid and ridiculous. Some of these laws
have left me wondering if the legislator who
proposed them was on drugs at the time.
Examples of some of the laws still on the
books in many states are:
- In Connecticut it is illegal to
peddle your bicycle over 65-MPH. I
wonder if Lance Armstrong knows about
this one.
- It is also illegal in the Nutmeg
state for Fire-trucks to exceed 25-MPH,
even if responding to an emergency.
- In Michigan, it is illegal to sell a
car on Sundays. Do they know that in
Detroit?
- Do not get caught driving your car
under the influence of alcohol in the
Garden State of New Jersey, you may have
to surrender your vanity license plates.
- In Mesquite, Texas, your child is
forbidden to have his head shaved.
However, it is legal to tattoo a yellow
rose on your forehead.
- If you are an atheist, do not move
to Vermont. It is illegal to deny the
existence of God. Yes, I did say
Vermont.
- Massachusetts does not allow
witches. The law does not mention
Warlocks. Sounds a little
gender bias to me.
I was attending a conference in Fairfax,
Virginia about 25-years-ago. I was sitting
at the
bar by myself having a drink when I noticed
two associates of mine sitting at a table.
They asked me to join them. I stood up and
proceeded to their table with my drink in
hand. The bartender almost tackled me before
I took my second step. "You can't move
your drink," he yelled, "you must drink it
at the bar or order a new one. And, you must
be
sitting when you drink." The way he yelled
at me, I felt like a felon. I have not drunk
in
Fairfax since.
These are just some of the laws that are
still on the books in some states. You may
think that these laws are stupid. I believe that some of
them are so ridiculous they insult the
intelligence of the average
person. I believe these states should
clean up their books. I do not
know of anyone
being cited for peddling their bicycle over
65 MPH in Connecticut or being arrested for
eating ice cream
in Alabama on Sundays. (Yes, that one is
really on the books).
Frivolous lawsuits have never been more
prevalent than they are today. We are
becoming a nation of
selfish, egocentric backbiters with nothing
better to do than attack each other. The
problem is that no
one takes responsibility for his or her own
actions. Plaintiffs who start an action are
always blaming the
other person for their own stupidity. You
only have to look back at Stella Liebeck who
sued McDonalds
Restaurant's for spilling hot coffee on
herself. She placed the container between
her legs, removed the
cover and squeezed it causing it to spill
and burn her legs. A jury awarded her $2.9
million because the
coffee container did not have a warning
label on it saying it contained a hot
liquid. What did she think
she was buying iced tea? Therefore, for being
so stupid the jury made her a millionaire.
Fortunately, the
judge reduced the award to $400,000, which
is still excessive. He should have thrown it
out.
People do not take responsibility for their
own actions. If you know that something is
dangerous and
continue to put yourself in harms way do not
blame the other person when you get hurt.
If you look at the warning labels on the
products that you find on store shelves
today you would be
amazed how irresponsible and stupid people
could be. These labels almost insult your
intelligence. They
were placed there because of possible
product liability. How stupid could a person
be to believe that
a Clorox disposable toilet brush could
be used for personal hygiene? Yet, the
warning on the
package states, "Warning not to be used for
personal hygiene." Or, that the wearing a
Superman
costume "Does not enable the wearer to fly."
The warning label on the Rowanta steam and
dry iron
states, "Do not iron clothes while wearing."
This warning arose out of an NFL player
ironing his jersey
while he was wearing it. I thought most NFL
players were college graduates. I guess he
flunked home
economics.
However, I really would like to see a stupid
law on the books across America.
Here is how it would work. If you know that
riding in the back of a pick-up truck is
dangerous, when I hit a
speed bump at 60 MPH throwing you into the
grill of the 18-wheeler following behind, do
not even think
about calling your attorney.
Yes, there really should be a stupid law. If
you act stupid, you are not allowed to sue.
It is that simple.
Most legislators are an attorney, that’s the
problem. Do you really believe that they
will pass a stupid
law? Frivolous lawsuits are job security
when they leave the legislature. I do not
know why they wouldn't
pass one. They have passed so many other
stupid laws in the past, why not this one?
And, that is my opinion.
Michael Solomon
If you want to
help restore sanity to America, join the
Flag Day campaign.
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